Chapter 3: The Seven Basic Discipline Skills

As a counselor, I always prided myself on using positive self talk and being so aware of my own behaviors and thoughts.  This summer, however, a trusted friend was able to tell me, "you are so hard on yourself."  I had never really heard it, until then.  I started being very aware of the things I was telling myself on a day to day basis - "don't screw this up," "what if...," or "I knew better than that" - things I would never think about saying to a loved one, especially a child.  I realized that for me to truly own my own behavior, attitude and thoughts, I needed to begin talking to myself as I would a friend. 

As I was reading this chapter, I kept going back to how MY self-talk directly relates to how I respond to a child.  In order for me to teach children with love, I need to start treating myself with love as well.  While I am still working on it, I am very pleased to say that through my changing self-talk, I have been feeling much more content with me (and all of my mistakes) and more available to really work with my students. 

Bailey describes "discipline encounters" as moments where teaching needs to occur but carefully does not refer to these moments as problems, misbehaviors or issues.  I love the idea that it is our job as adults to distinguish between our children's wants and needs.  Some needs I notice often in school is for children to learn how to delay gratification, handle disappointment and build patience (let's be honest, don't we all still have those needs?!).  Instead of focusing upon getting the child to accept that something is not possible, I love this concept that we can teach these specific skills.

Some questions to guide your responses... though we  have none so far.  Please contribute!!
-On page 52, Bailey discusses the tools that most parents use.  Which tools did you experience as a kid, and which ones are you still using?
-What are some of your "what ifs?"
-Do you agree/disagree with the anatomy of the discipline encounter?  Would you make any changes to it?
-Share any connections!