Needless to say, I was so surprised to hear the emphatic, "NO!" when I began offering choices to some of my students. I thought I was giving them a chance to feel control, but instead I felt as though they were trying to control me! I got the concept of providing choices, but had no clue where to go from there.
Upon reading this chapter and delving into Conscious Discipline, I realized that I needed to reflect/change a couple of things.
1. My choices weren't always positive ("You may sit here and keep your hands to yourself or you may leave the group. Which one works for you?"). I tended, as many parents & teachers often do, to offer "false" choices in order to coerce my students into doing something. Instead I probably could have said, "You may sit here or you may sit here closer to me. At both places, keep your hands to yourself. Which one works for you?"
2. Look at the reason WHY the child is resisting. Target the response based on those reasons instead of on my frustration that the child isn't making one of my choices.
3. Remember, the Power of Perception & Free Will! I own my feelings and I can only control my own behavior. Download calm to the child, even if it is difficult to feel.
4. Involve the child in problem solving, again owning up to my own behavior. The child will learn decision making skills during this process and will be more apt to make a positive choice when offered.
As someone who tends to be a wishy-washy decision maker, I love this idea of teaching children the power of decisions early in life. Feel free to comment if interested!
Thanks for reading~
-What were your reactions to reading "The Blame Game" section?
-Share some positive moments with providing choices.
-What are some of your "what ifs" with choices?
No comments:
Post a Comment